I changed my major today—officially. Afterward I felt more relieved than I thought I would, which is just more confirmation for me that I am following God on this one. My advisor who tried to talk me out of it told me today she could tell I was doing the right thing because I was “bubbly” when I talked about it; pretty priceless I must say.
What is more priceless is being full to the brim of God’s grace and God-given faith to do something I don’t understand totally with an end that I cannot see right now. But it feels awesome, which is pretty remarkable coming from someone who relishes planning every minute of her day out. Having tried out both sides of the equation, I would rather live blindfolded walking hand in hand with God than have all my steps laid out for me but be distant from Him.
A dear friend told me a story about a man who spent a day with Mother Teresa. At the end of the day, he asked her to pray for him. “Anything,” she replied, and he asked her to pray that God would give him clarity about the direction he was to take in life and what he should do with his future. “I cannot pray that prayer for you” was her response, and at his confused look she said “Clarity is sight, faith is what is unseen, and the righteous shall live by faith.” This changed my perspective on clarity forever. I am not sure I want it. Let me rephrase that…I want clarity, but I’m not sure that is God’s best for me. So I’ll take my chances with faith instead.
Lock in with me for two seconds—God will ask us to do things that do not make sense at the time. We can and often do say no. I did. God, because He is so ridiculously gracious, will often try and get our attention again and again, even as we ignore Him again and again. But He can also just give us up to our passions and let our calloused hearts do our own will. DO NOT get to that place. It is better to live for Him, in Him, because of Him, than any other way. Nothing else will satisfy: “For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” –Psalm 95:7-8